Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
