I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I don't think brook has ever known best
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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