Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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