You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
