Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My breasts were aching with rage.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize