every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize