Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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