He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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