btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
