i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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