got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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