Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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