I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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