Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
