why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
