we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
