Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
