if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
