Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
