You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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