I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
