Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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