i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
420 ftw
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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