OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
