Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
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