Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
