the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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