Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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