i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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