u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
