Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
