I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
