They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
