Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
