Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
