I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize