I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
