There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize