singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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