She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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