why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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