if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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