i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
