You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize