i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
