So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You ruined the universe
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
