STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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