I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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