your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
