I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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