Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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