he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
