She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My legs feel like baby dolphins
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
