So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
how can u be prego again
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
