Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
