every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
