my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
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