big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize