Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
